old record from jj

 Every morning I’m asking myself the question: “Am I still myself?”

Of course not really. But I’m incorporating this as part of my “boot loader”, morning routine. Not really, real in a sort of way.
Routine. Pretty expensive one.
Ok. Computer. Yes. Practical tactical goal is to wake up.
Yoga. Balance. Static. Core. To the 35 breath cycles in a minute. Burpees. Trampoline. Jogging.
Ignition. Cognition. “Have I gone mad?”
And “what are you getting back ?”, that was the question my friend has asked after hearing this nonsense. Short answer is “This question is very relevant, but is not exact correct” the question “Am I myself?” Is not so vulgar as question about madness. Consciousness is broken in way most of the time. By design.
He is sharing with me “you are you, for sure, all the time”.
But that really depends what I’m thinking am I. What is my self-identity. If I do recognize myself as an animal for 99.999% then yes. For sure. I don’t have reasons to bother myself by such inquiries. Eat, sleep, reproductive access - a lot of things to be busy with. But I do have my morning routine - inquire to wake up - because I do have an idea what am I.
I think that [human] consciousness is kind of crypto container like ark or vault with negative knowledge volume powered by complex machinery like a search engine or search of sense or search of pattern or search of trend all together with auto encryption implemented on hardware and software layers. that is why human is animal ( encrypted ) systems. With main feature to detect corruption/being compromised/ infiltrated. Search is a kind of secondary function. But important part of this crypto container that the encryption is implemented by network of other containers ( outside). For initial bootstrap at least two uniq crypto containers are required. And yes. By the way, the uniq identity ( uncompromised and uncorrupted) is what is socalled the “soul” the marker of uniq identity and uncompromised.
And yes. This thing - consciousness as crypto container is very complex dynamical thing - unstable and it is stable only because of dynamic balance. If compromised, it is almost impossible to maintain balanced dynamic and it will basically blow up with energy release.
Ok. Computer. This is unstable, very high energy density crypto container with blow up feature and search. And now you are asking me why should I bother myself with this yoga-shmoga-balance-discipline-mantra-shmantra-pseudo-science-juju ?
Because I do have somewhat of zero or maybe little bit less of trust.
I mean I have trust that this is a small part of real picture and small part of real complexity. This most likely crypto container with dynamic balance is actually the dynamic balance of set of crypto containers and with complex trajectories more then 3 bodies movement problem. Balance is illusional analogy, misleading one in a sense.

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
veritas et mesirecodia

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